Monday, October 13, 2008

50


That's what the scale said this morning when I stepped on it. 50 pounds lost.

I stepped on it a few more times to make sure.

I cannot really believe that I've been able to lose this much. I remember back in May when I'd lost 20 pounds and had plateaued, seemingly stuck at 235, thinking that perhaps that weight was my new default setting. That I could get back to within 5-10 pounds of my college weight seemed almost unbelievable.

And yet here I am: 205 pounds. 50 pounds less than when I started.

It has made me realize that much of the barriers to my weight loss were in my head. They were things I had imagined had to be true: this is my weight now, people gain weight when they get older, nothing you can do about it, etc. etc. Well, there is something I could do about it, and I am not allowing myself any half measures. If I can lose 50, I can lose another 10 and get down to 195--a weight I haven't weighed since I was in my senior year of college.

A month or so ago, I was in my friend's car running an errand and I noticed a 30-pound weight in the back seat; it belonged to her husband. I picked it up and held it--it was heavy. It is astonishing to me to think that I had been carrying around that weight, and more, on me. I have dropped one of those weights and nearly another one. And unlike every other time I set out to lose weight, I actually feel like I can do it this time.

And so, I am off for a bike ride into Virginia for a couple of hours. The Sox game doesn't start until 4pm and as long as I have the time, I'm gonna keep after this. The finish line is in sight.

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